I promise not to quote Beyonce too many times in this post. But it will be hard. After all, this is for all my single ladies. Ok, done.
I’m 28. Almost 29. And I am single. I’ve learned to turn a blind ear to the questions that follow you on your awesome path of singledom. And I’ve gotta say… What’s with all the judgement? Have you forgotten your days of being single and care free? Oh you have?! Bummer. I’m pretty sure these truly are the glory days.
Since you seem to have forgotten friend etiquette, let’s go over all the things to STOP saying to your single friends/family members/perfectly good strangers buying dinner for one.
“What’s wrong with you?!” Oh yeah, it’s me. It’s gotta be right? If you ever say this to me I’ll punch you in the face. Because the truth is, there is nothing wrong with anyone who makes a choice to be single (unless you’re straight up crazy. then you might have a problem). We’re just holding out for the right one and why settle for anything less than the best?
“You’re too picky!” Am I? You’re right. I guess I should just settle with Joe Schmo who totally sucks at life and will probably treat me horribly and we’ll have no common interests. NONE. You’re right… that sounds so much better than waiting on the right one.
“Don’t you want to start a life and a family?” Now this is weird butttt… I have a life. A really, really good one. And I have a family. A really, really good one. Both of those may change some day and I’ll totally welcome that change. But for now, I’m going to keep this to a party of one because I don’t need a baby before I have the daddy.
“Ugh. I remember being single. It was awful!” You’re right. I totally hate going on dates, staying out too late and having memorable nights with friends. Sleeping in until whenever is the worst. I hate doing whatever I want, whenever I want. SAID NO ONE EVER.
“Don’t you get lonely?” How could I be lonely? I’ve got loads of friends and a good balance of solo time that I spend doing all the things that I want to do. Crazy right?!
“I’d never want to be single again.” Cool. Good for you. Hope you don’t wind up single EVER AGAIN. But for now I like it. As much as I like eating cupcakes. Which is a lot.
“Why do you still go out all the time? You’re almost 30!” Yeah. Because when you were single you didn’t do the same thing? But you’ve probably already forgotten those days. Don’t worry, I’ll make up for all your missed time on the single dance floor. Also, age is just a number you fool.
Have you learned anything there? Hopefully you did but let’s review what you should take away from this if you are single.
1- KEEP BEING AWESOME. Seriously, just don’t stop.
2- That’s it.
Here is what you should take away from this if you have single friends.
1- Don’t be a judgmental pain in the ass. It ain’t your life bro.
2- Live vicariously through your friend(s). He/She will come home with crazy stories. And trust me, you want to hear all of them.
I have friends that have a better half and even as a couple, they are outrageously fun to hang with. They are also a prime example of what I want my own relationship to look like. Don’t be like Eminem and Lose Yourself.